My Fasting Story, Part VI: Returning to "Normal" Life
by Ellen Livingston
Note: In January I completed at 26-day hygienic healing fast on water only, in Costa Rica under the supervision of Dr. Douglas N. Graham. You can find the first four installments of this story at www.LivingYogaNow.com , under the "Articles" tab, then scroll to the bottom.
My plane lands at Detroit Metro Airport in the middle of the night, in a snowstorm. Goodbye to warm, sunny Costa Rica! It is 2 am when my luggage finally makes it to Baggage Claim (the cargo truck crashed in the storm!), and 3 am when my parents arrive to pick me up (they were caught behind a snowy highway accident!). I feel like I'm caught in a time-warp, sitting in a virtually empty airport baggage claim at 3 am, adjusting to the shock of freezing air and falling snow, and also feeling overstimulated, sensitive, and ravenously hungry.
But I am also decidedly at peace: having connected during my fasting retreat with what truly matters, and with what I'm truly made of, I am just gliding through this current travel chaos, observing but not getting caught up in the potential stress of it all. I am actually amused by the outraged reactions of some of the other passengers.
Wisely, I create lots of extra space in my first week at home, keeping my commitments to a minimum and just focusing on my children and myself. The kids are surprised by my thinness, but so lovingly supportive of my journey. We tell stories to each other all week, catching up on six weeks of separation. So the first week home goes well, and I hold the world at arm's length and rest a little longer.
By the second week, however, the challenges mount, as the "real" world starts pressing in. I begin to feel overwhelmed, but I make a point of reconnecting often with the strong center calm I basked in during my fasting days. This helps - a lot. I am more keenly aware than ever of how unnatural all our modern stresses have become, and how dramatically this stress can compromise health. I strengthen my resolve to maintain the courage required to create a healthy lifestyle, despite the pervasive pressure to live as others do, in a mostly harried and disconnected way.
My back continues to feel great, but it is a few more weeks before my weight and strength begin to return in earnest. These are the toughest weeks. My body, heart, and soul cry out for more rest, and more stillness, deeper healing, but the world seems to demand something else. I must find ways to cope with the incongruency. Financial worries loom, as I must almost start over with many aspects of my business after letting so many things drop for two months. It is a great lesson in TRUST. I know what I must do, and I just keep doing it, hoping that the Universe will respond and that we will be provided for.
I keep my dreams of a more nature-based, nature-paced life in full color out in front as I step up to the plate in my current reality, and step back into my roles as mom, head of household, and small business owner. I just know it is possible to weave all this together and create the life of our dreams. But oh boy does it ever take courage and commitment! Health comes from healthful living, and our society does not truly encourage this, so we must dare to be truly different if we are to create health.
I am more determined than ever to stay in my awareness of the critical importance of honoring my natural human need for the requisites of health: rest, sunshine, play, natural foods, clean air, love, laughter, meaningful work, leisure time, etc. I am simply not willing to succumb to society's pressure to conform to the prevalent model.
Unfortunately, it takes a few painful flare-ups of my still sensitive esophageal tissues to keep me in line with my healthy intentions. The stress of catapulting back suddenly into my world of so much work and responsibility proves too much for my vulnerable system, and so I experience some "set-backs". Fortunately, each incident is quite mild in comparison to what would happen before my fast, but I do see the need to heed the warnings immediately. So these "set-backs" actually propel me forward, and I firm up my resolve to honor my need to slow down my pace of life.
Soon the spat of flare-ups dies down, and I begin to come into a fuller awareness of my health gains from the fast. I keep working my sore, atrophied muscles, and they respond with new growth. I keep steadily offering my gifts and services to my community, and the Universe responds and provides for our financial needs. I keep my mind and heart focused on what I truly want, and my actions become more and more congruent with my values and beliefs.
I have been home for four full months now, and the last three have been flare-up free. This is a real victory for me! I have successfully navigated the transition, and every day I am making bigger and surer strides into the healthy life I envision. I am more gentle with myself, and more gentle with others. I know who I am and why I'm here, at least in the sense that fuels my daily actions with liberating consciousness. It seems that upon my landing back at home after my fast, I had to wage one more familiar battle with society's "demands" before I could bust through to a new level of trust, assurance, and success - on my terms.
My 26 day water fast has given me much improved digestion, and a good start on physical healing of seriously damaged esophageal tissues (and hence the ability to continue the healing process without the interference of acute flare-ups). My skin and gums feel fresh and new, my body supple and free. But perhaps most precious of all to me, is my ever-deepening trust in my own body's infinite intelligence, and a profoundly magnified sense of self-connection and inner peace. I feel as though I have travelled to the depths of my being, and found benevolence there. In the reassuring words of my roommate, "It's all good."
That's all folks, thanks for hearing my story. Now I'll be composing a magazine article based on these journal entries. Fasting stories need to be told, for this is Nature's most powerful healer, and today's society has all but forgotten this most basic truth.
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